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Forget Phelps Versus Shark.....

Proving man versus shark racing ain't dead, I, like many of you were watching Discovery's made for TV match race between Michael Phelps and a Great White Shark on Sunday. Although some people were clearly disappointed Michael Phelps did not race an actual man eating fish in the open ocean, the rest of us were pretty satisfied with the spectacle.

Discovery Network clearly used the event to push "Shark Week" on its network, and feels it's good for ratings.

That got me thinking, in horse racing, actual horses race actual horses thousands of times a year. Even though wiener dog races are the bomb, I feel the sport can do better to promote the sport.

One way, in my view, is to offer some match races of our own. Here are a few of my ideas. I hope you like them.

Match Race : Andy Serling against Someone He Blocked on Twitter

This race might help attendance, and we all know how much Chris Kay likes butts in the seats. This would not be a one-off race, because Andy has blocked quite a few people on twitter. The blockees would probably have to be whittled down in some sort of elimination, then the King or Queen of the hill will take on Serling. This would be decent for a final day at Saratoga, when there will be mainly claimers on the sked.

Match Race: Adam Hickman against any rider at Mountaineer he bet that gave a "brain dead ride" and "who needs a new career, maybe at Wal Mart"

Jockeys are pretty fast, but Hickman is no slouch.  Regardless who wins, this would be a pretty neat spectacle.

Match Race: Ray Paulick against Brad Cummings

If Ray wins the site remains The Paulick Report. If Brad wins, he regains his rightful place as lead editor for the Cummings Report.

Match Race: Sid Fernando against Gennadi Dorochenko

If Gennadi wins, Sid can't tweet about Russia for one month. If Sid wins, Gennadi puts Sid in touch with deep state Russians who can blow the doors off this whole Trump-Russia thing.

Match Race: Sheik Mo against the people who promulgate the "Dubai Bounce"

This reached fever pitch Saturday evening when Arrogate threw in the clunker. Let's settle it, by racing. 


Match Race: Jim Gagliano of the Jockey Club against Eric Hamelback of the HBPA

If Eric wins, it's lasix for everyone. If Jim wins, lasix will be banned forever. Both Jim and Eric will be tested, but only on-site. There is no out of competition testing allowed, as per agreement.

Match Race: Cozmic One against people on twitter who make fun of Cozmic One

The twitterati would learn just how tough it is to win a race, and Cosmic One would break his maiden.

Match Race: The CHRB against Andy Asaro

Since it took third party lasix getting through the CHRB longer than it took to build the Hoover Dam this one might never get through committee, but I'd pay to see it.

Have a great day everyone.



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